Personality Quiz - JANE WASHINGTON

1.

Why are you taking this quiz?

To bring honour to my family.

To troll jane Washington the same way Jane Washington trolls me.

I thought I was being paid to take an online survey.

I thought that it was compulsory even though it clearly says it’s optional.

2.

Ice-cream or low-fat Greek yogurt?

A single grape, carefully quartered.

Chocolate ice-cream out of a chocolate bowl, eaten without hands.

I refuse to eat Greek yogurt, because I’m a racist.

I like pie.

3.

Would you give your firstborn child to a tiny little goblin?

Wait, what?

Only if he asked nicely.

Only if he tricked me into it through complex political manoeuvres.

Any day. Any time. Any place.

4.

Do you like jogging?

When I’m being chased by zombies, yes.

Will it get me away from this quiz?

I jog while drinking protein shakes and bench-pressing my grandma.

Will it require me to … you know … move?

5.

Your favourite author just turned up on your doorstep. What are they wearing?

An elegant, salmon-pink pantsuit

Probably nothing, the weirdo.

Two coconuts and a grass skirt.

A German squadron bomber uniform from the 40’s

6.

Your parents just walked in on you having 'private under the covers time'. What do you do?

What does this even mean? There's someone with me ... right?

This question is more embarrassing than answering would be.

Didn't they see the sock on the door?

The weasels escaped the retirement home again!

7.

What is your favourite book in the whole world, without competition?

Anything by Jane Washington.

8.

Omg. Did you really mean that? You are SO sweet. Thanks. I’m glad my book is your favourite book in the whole world, without competition.

Was that supposed to be a question?

This thing is rigged.

You’re welcome? I think?

I want a refund.

9.

If this quiz were the last item in a medieval marketplace, how much would you trade for it?

You want me to … buy the quiz? In a medieval marketplace? THEY DIDN’T EVEN HAVE COMPUTERS.

Three magic beans.

Three normal beans.

Three rocks in the shape of beans.

10.

On a scale of 1-10, how helpful and insightful was this quiz, and do you feel that it has brought honour to your family?

0.

1-5.

5-10.

10+

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